I read some advice on how not to look like a tourist, taken from Sunday’s Boston Globe that I picked up in the Air France lounge. The advice made sense as I sat in a train speeding from Paris to Chartres this morning.

A cellphone company surveyed thousands of their subscribers and this inspired the Globe’s Richard Carpenter to add his own suggestions to their list.

Ditch the baseball caps and the white sneakers. I have a photographer friend who is fond of wearing these and now I know why I shun such footwear. Nobody except American tourists ever wears them. Please Paul, lose those shoes before your next trip for GoNOMAD!

Another sure sign of the Americano tourist, says the survey, is the fanny pack. God, why, why would anyone ever want to wear this silly accessory. Just buy a damn backpack, but ditch this stupid accessory, will you? Please?

Another tip for blending in is to wear black. That’s what the Europeans do, and the garish colors that American travelers sometimes like to drape themselves in is another giveaway sign.
But if there is one thing you should leave at home….one telltale sign that you’re as American as apple pie, it’s that baseball hat. Especially one with a major league baseball team’s logo on it.